Beakers Cafe

Welcome to Beaker’s Café, the internet’s only online café.

Beaker's Cafe in all it's glory

Meep Meep!

Hi, my name is Beaker and I’ll be only to pleased to take your order...

I can have your breakfast ready for when you get in to the office.
Please pick what you would like from the menu and mail me to place your order.

Our friendly staff can make you a drink while you choose from our menu. 

Alan - Resident Tea Wallah


Beaker’s Bubble ‘n Beans

Sully’s Scramble 0.75
Dianne’s Delectable Dumplings 1.00
Flat Eric's Felafels 0.80
Monkey Mushrooms 0.90
Decaf Tea (Unleaded) 0.10
Taliban Toast (Full Fat) 0.25
Taliban Toast (Gluten Free) 0.25
Meep Meep Mash 1.00
Sully Cider 2.00

Please mail me for your early Monday order.

Recent additions to our line up (hover over pictures for description and prices)...

Pasty and Chips £2.00     Beans - £0.50


Quotes from our satisfied customers:

I Just Love it I Do!!!
"I used to spend my day thinking about sheep, but now I can't stop thinking about how I can stink the place out with food" - Matt "Mackerel" Stinkpot
"I hated coming in to work, but now I can't wait to get to lunchtime" - H "2L's" McSpaniel
"It's fookin' great yer fookin' bastart! Hoy!! Whit barstart stole ma' fookin' sweaty pies?" - Jimmy 50 Bellies
"Zzzzzzzz" - Jacko
"Is it my turn on the microwave?" - Inch High Private Eye
"Pasty, Chips and Beans Sir???? Ooooh" - Matt "Semi-Sweaty" Helm
"Meep meep meep meep meep?" - Mark Taliban
"It's the only part of the day I look forward to... well, that and going home" - Locko

Comments from other (made up) web sites:
"I think I'm going for a Friday treat again" - www.Al'
"Toast say you?" -

This site is in no way real, if you place an order which doesn't turn up, feel free to shout at Mark.
Pictures / Sounds are copyright and trademark of their respective owners (Me and Jim Henson).