FAQ's
(What's the point?)
What? Why? Who Cares?
I thought I'd just answer a few
quick things that I'm asked, a mini FAQs if you will...
Q. What's this
all about, I mean why have you got your own web page?
A. I thought I was going to be out of a job
about a year ago and thought this might be a good way of looking
like I knew what I was doing and a good place to advertise my
wares, fortunately that's all a dim and distant memory now, and
this would be the last place that I would show a potential
employer around.
Q. Well why
bother now? It's not as if you've got a valid excuse to put this
rubbish on the web for all and sundry to see?
A. Well, I've got rellies all over the shop and
so has my darling soon to be wife, so now it's a place to put
recent pictures and the ongoing status of my "over a year in
the making" bathroom. Now all anyone has to do is have a
look here and it saves me the tedious... "So, how's the
bathroom getting on?" & "Can you mail me that piccy
where you look like a twat?" questions.
Q. Yeah but I'm
not one of your relatives, in fact I don't even know you so what
do I care?
A. Good point, why not just go to the links page
and find somewhere else to go, It's not as if you were invited
anyway.
Q. If you're a
trained graphic artist, how comes this site looks so crap?
A. Well I only get the odd second here and there
to do this, and I'm learning this web design/publishing thing as
I go along so... bolox, if you don't like it you know where the
door is!
Q. Alright,
don't get narky...
A. Yeah Ok, I'm sorry but this is all one way traffic, When do I
get to ask a question?
Q. Later,
anyway... What If I've got another question that you haven't
answered like (Ooh I don't know... ) What's the point in
everything?
A. Well I would say in your case there's a
couple of obvious answers, "Don't give up because there's
always something good lurking just around the corner" or
even the more concise answer of "42". However If you
want to ask me something just send me a mail (using the link on
bottom of each page) I might even answer.
Q. What should I
do if there's something that I'd like to see on your page?
A. Duh.. mail me???? I told you earlier...a
Q. You're wasted
doing what you do, I mean you should be famous... You're a genius
how do I offer you riches beyond your wildest dreams?
A. Aw, you're too kind and I'm too modest to
agree, but if you're serious I'd be happy with around 10 mil for
starters. Mail me, we'll do lunch.
All written stuff, photos, sounds (none yet but eventually?) images, graphics and the whole matthelm.net experience are created by and copyright of Matt Helm 2002/4. Obviously I didn't create what you see in the photos, like clouds an' that but you get the idea.