(What's the point?)


What? Why? Who Cares?
I thought I'd just answer a few quick things that I'm asked, a mini FAQs if you will...

Q. What's this all about, I mean why have you got your own web page?
A. I thought I was going to be out of a job about a year ago and thought this might be a good way of looking like I knew what I was doing and a good place to advertise my wares, fortunately that's all a dim and distant memory now, and this would be the last place that I would show a potential employer around.

Q. Well why bother now? It's not as if you've got a valid excuse to put this rubbish on the web for all and sundry to see?
A. Well, I've got rellies all over the shop and so has my darling soon to be wife, so now it's a place to put recent pictures and the ongoing status of my "over a year in the making" bathroom. Now all anyone has to do is have a look here and it saves me the tedious... "So, how's the bathroom getting on?" & "Can you mail me that piccy where you look like a twat?" questions.

Q. Yeah but I'm not one of your relatives, in fact I don't even know you so what do I care?
A. Good point, why not just go to the links page and find somewhere else to go, It's not as if you were invited anyway.

Q. If you're a trained graphic artist, how comes this site looks so crap?
A. Well I only get the odd second here and there to do this, and I'm learning this web design/publishing thing as I go along so... bolox, if you don't like it you know where the door is!

Q. Alright, don't get narky...
A. Yeah Ok, I'm sorry but this is all one way traffic, When do I get to ask a question?

Q. Later, anyway... What If I've got another question that you haven't answered like (Ooh I don't know... ) What's the point in everything?
A. Well I would say in your case there's a couple of obvious answers, "Don't give up because there's always something good lurking just around the corner" or even the more concise answer of "42". However If you want to ask me something just send me a mail (using the link on bottom of each page) I might even answer.

Q. What should I do if there's something that I'd like to see on your page?
A. Duh.. mail me???? I told you earlier...a

Q. You're wasted doing what you do, I mean you should be famous... You're a genius how do I offer you riches beyond your wildest dreams?
A. Aw, you're too kind and I'm too modest to agree, but if you're serious I'd be happy with around 10 mil for starters.
Mail me, we'll do lunch.

Mail Me

All written stuff, photos, sounds (none yet but eventually?) images, graphics and the whole experience are created by and copyright of Matt Helm 2002/4. Obviously I didn't create what you see in the photos, like clouds an' that but you get the idea.

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